Tactical Intoxication Program: S2E02 “Growing Concern”

It’s that time.

Another thursday. Followed by another friday morning spent praying to your office porcelain god.

This weeks episode, like a few other episodes of this season, does have a specific drink of choice, however, the drink is not a cocktail per say. Instead, it is a single type of wine, but one that like many references in Archer, was chosen with great care.

This week, get fancy with:

Rosé Champagne

Believe it or now, almost all champagnes are white regardless of what color grapes are used. That is because the pressing of champagne grapes is a gentle process that minimizes the amount of time the juice spends with the skin of the grapes, which is the only thing that gives red wines their color. Grape juice itself is always starts out white. Because of this gentle process, making a Rosé Champagne a consistent color is very difficult, and thus, is usually artificially created. This is done by adding small amounts of a red wine (typically Pinot Noir) to the champagne, giving it a more controllable, consistent, pink hue.

Now, I know not everyone wants to drop a lot of cash on champagne just to watch a cartoon on Thursday nights (Unless it really is that special to you, which it could be)

So, a few suggested alternatives to the bubbly this week are:

  • Red Stripe Beer I suppose you could drink other kinds too, but only if they’re from Jamaica and come in squatty brown bottles.
  • Listerine breath strips.
  • A fat blunt. Not that you ents need special instructions to do so, but for this episode in particular, you will get a chance to puff along with a character in the show. So, if that makes you feel less self conscious about what has slowly grown to be your painfully obvious hash addiction, by all means, light’em up for ISIS.

So, in closing, go ahead and bubble up…to………wait…

shit

I totally had something for this…

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