Tactical Intoxication Program: S2E08 “Stage Two”

I don’t know why, but it feels like it’s been the longest 7 days in the history of the planet. I don’t know if daylight savings factors in to that or what. Still though. Long week.

But holy shit snacks, this weeks episode is awesome. Not nearly as awesome as the week after this…but still…I’m pretty excited for ya’ll to see em both.

This week also has a massive amount of alcohol in it. And a lot of options as well, so I’ll give you one featured drink, and then list out all your alternatives. There’s plenty.

This week, get fancy, and crack open a bottle of:

ARMAGNAC

Armagnac is a distinctive (read: expensive) kind of brandy produced in the Armagnac region in Gascony, southwest France. It is distilled from wine usually made from a blend of grapes including Ugni Blanc, Colombard, and Baco 22A, and then aged in oak barrels.

Armagnac is sold under several different classifications, mostly referring to the age of the constituent brandies. When brandies of different ages have been blended, the age on the bottle refers to the youngest component. A three star, or “VS,” Armagnac is a mix of several Armagnacs that have seen at least two years of aging in wood. For the VSOP, the aging is at least five years. (This is what Sterling and Malory drink.)

Now that we know what it is, let’s talk about how hardly anyone reading this is probably going to spend the 99 bones (or more) it costs to get a handle of this, and we’ll talk about what else you can drink that is similar instead.

Another blended brandy, that is far cheaper, and easier to get, is Cognac. Where as Armagnac gets its smoothness from aging in oak, Cognac achieves a similar smoothness, simply by going through multiple rounds of distillation. This is faster, and thus, cheaper. So pour yourself some Hennessy into a proper brandy snifter, and enjoy.

ALTERNATIVES

  • Absinthe
  • Flask of whiskey (Preferably a simple stainless steel flask.)
  • Champagne

FOOD

Have you ever had marzipan? Holy crap, it’s delicious. It is also remarkably simple to make, and involves very few ingredients. AND, you can mold it into fun little shapes, like cows and pigs, and any other animal that you might find on Poovey Farms.

Want something that involves a little less work, and can be bought at your local doughnut shop? Get a double-fist full of bear claws. And watch this video if you already haven’t.

Alright, now go out there and get your whistle wetter then Japan……..

too soon?

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EDIT: I forgot to mention something. Last week’s episode had a brief shot of ME in cartoon form. I proudly posed as Shooting Range Target Man.

Now, the face is very loosely based on me, because at the time, I had a pretty impressive beard, which would have made it hard to see the bullet holes for the smiley face. In this behind the scenes photograph, you can see the drastic changes that were made to my appearance. TV magic!!!

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