Tactical Intoxication Program: S6E13 “Drastic Voyage: Part II”

The last TIP is always the hardest…

You know the end is coming…

You aren’t prepared to wrap it all up…

No matter how much you try to hold back, you know you’ve just got to suck it up and polish it off…

So, here’s the mother load…

the happy ending…

the icing on kake…

Should I stop???

No???

You want more???

 

 

Too, bad, we’re done.

Sadly we also don’t actually have a mother load of a drink for you. As it would turn out, intravenous submersible vehicles don’t tend to have wet bars. I’m just as disappointed as Archer is and you likely are. So, in lieu of going over why drinking isopropyl alcohol will kill you, again (not kill you again, unless you’re undead, in which case, bravo on retaining your ability to read a blog, let’s instead look at some possible cocktails that would compliment this weeks episode, even though they will not be featured.

1. BLOODY MARY

We’ve talked about this drink many times before. Archer has a prayerthat glorifies it. I have posts that cover it’s history as well as the history of it’s ingredients. It’s a staple of the Archer world and yours…

BUT

it isn’t exactly ever a great drink for a thursday night, is it? So let’s talk about something that is decidedly for night walkers.

2. SLAUGHTER

This one is news to me, and news to most of the world as best I can tell. The No. 9 bar in London’s Chelsea district has recently made headlines for a cocktail which sounds incredible, up until the garnish:

  • Johnny Walker scotch
  • Columbian Coffee
  • Kahlua
  • Dark Chocolate liqueur
  • Campari
  • Raspberry liqueur
  • Blood orange Juice

I don’t know the proportions there, but we’ll get to a guess that I have in minute, for now, lets talk about that garnish: PIG BLOOD.

Yep. While this cocktail has gotten plenty of pressin the last few months, it actually is also getting a bit of criticism for taking the idea from someone else. It seems like pig blood is the new black, with the Slaughter Cocktail just being one of severalbeing served around the world. So if you happen to have access to a recently axed pig, then by all means, drink up. I mentioned that I’d talk about potential proportions, because the Slaughter is basically just a churched up version of a classic cocktail which happens to be next.

3. BLOOD & SAND

A 20th century classic drink, named after the 1922 film of the same name, this is one of very few classic drinks that call for scotch whisky as the base spirit (the Rob Roy being another I can think of). It first appeared in the Savoy Cocktail Book in 1930, which means the drink actually has a very small window (historically speaking) for when it was invented. I personally love it, and if you have access to the ingredients, I highly recommend giving it a try.

  • ¾ oz Blended Scotch
  • ¾ oz Cherry Heering
  • ¾ oz Sweet Vermouth
  • ¾ oz Blood Orange Juice

Pour all ingredients into cocktail shaker filled with ice cubes. Shake well. Strain into an old fashioned glass or cocktail coupe and flame orange zest over the top of the glass. Garnish with a cherry or orange peel.

ALTERNATE

I know that San Pelligrino makes a blood orange soda, I’m sure that several other companies make something similar. This would be a great mixer to just about spirit: bourbon, vodka, brandy, tequila, gin, rum. You name it, and I think blood orange soda would probably be delightful in it. Except maybe Irish Cream… can’t say I’d recommend that.

 

FOOD

Steak. For real. Like, a super good steak house or something, with like, flower pot bread. Yeah. That fucking sounds awesome.

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